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Thursday, October 14, 2010

You know the phrase: "Rome was not built in a day"?

I have been doing a great deal of thinking lately, mostly about my new body of work that I so desperately crave to start working on.  My ideas are solid but my sketches??? Not so much.  I am not the greatest sketcher. I would rather see the ideas in my head and just make it as I work. Which strikes me as a little odd, seeing how I have a detailed plan for everything.  I was speaking with my mom last night and I was getting really frustrated about how I am not where I would like to be with my art.  How I have to wait until I pay my bills to get started on my work. What do I do instead? I sit at my computer and I watch countless hours of mind numbing television.  I tell myself that it is research for my work. I sit here and study relationships; how they develop, how they change; how they start and how they end. Which is half true.  I have decided that my work is about relationships between people. More specifically, about the love that grows within a friendship or a misconstreued idea.  What I have found is that people do not communicate openly.

Not only have I been studying television, but I have also been studying my friends and their relationships with their significant others (because believe you me, it feels like all of my friends are with someone). Weither it be new or old, hot or cold, I have noticed that a very select few of them are truely and actually in an open communicative relationship.  I watch my parents and how they interact after twenty-five years of marriage and it is almost as if they fall in love all over again each and everyday. It is quite amazing.  On the other hand, I am aware of other friends who are suspicious that their honey is not being so faithful or they have doubts about their love to one another. Instead of confronting these concerns, they push them aside as if they would not matter.  I know I am not an expert on this whole "love" thing, but I know a thing or two about proper communication.  I know that if you are not one hundred percent honest with your "someone", then how the hell is anything suppose to be fixed. Are you just going to go on doubting them until you work yourself up so much that you break it off, when it could have been fixed with a few arguements and/or discussions? 

I guess it might just be me, but if I find someone or something is bothering me, I confront it.  I have heard confrontation is scary and hard for most people, but there is a point and time where you need to take control of your life and just go for it. Stand up for yourself and stick to your ground.  If you do not, then it is your fault when the break up happens and if you are in an unhappy relationship (wither it be a blossoming new love or a fifty year marriage) you are sol because YOU did not speak up.  How is anyone suppose to know something is wrong unless you SAY SOMETHING about it!? Stop being passive aggressive and SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE!

There are very few couples that I know in whom I would love to model my relationship after (with whoever the lucky guy ends up being) and for the record, I would just like to give credit to the love birds.  They inspire me and give me hope that love like theirs really does exist and that I am waiting for all the right reasons. So here is my personal thank you.

First and foremost, I thank my mom and dad. They are the reason I am as strong willed and independent as I am.  They taught me to stand on my own two feet before I can lean on someone for more strength and wisdom. 

Next, my Grandma and Grandpa. Six beautiful children, all still married to their first husband (or wife) and almost all happily married, twenty-something grandchildren and four great-grandchildren and still as in love as the first day they met, there is a real rare treat in todays world. 

To Amy and Eric, the crazy love birds who taught me that no matter what, you need to find that person who drives you crazy and pushes you towards your passion and shares it with you, not only that but who will REALLY support you and be there for you in sickness and in health. 

I will never forget the (kind of) newly engaged couple, Cassandra and Dave. (Cassie being my bestest friend). I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be watching this love blossom and grow.  From the first time Cassie called me to tell me Dave told her he loved her, to all the long talks we now have about their wedding next spring.  They have a rare blessing in today's world, sadly enough. It is my favorite kind, the kind I hope to find.

And to James and Jessica, who deserve eachother more than any two people I have ever met.  To a new couple who just make sense. The smiles I see on their faces when they are talking about one another are priceless and never overrated.

I love you all and I thank you for the inspiration and more importantly, being true to yourselves.  These things will always take time and hard work, but know that every ounce of it is worth it.  Never under estimate the power of love.

Stay tuned because I never stay in one spot for long.

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