Monday, February 27, 2012

& Guest.

It all comes down to that, does it not?  Your 'plus one', the pretentious '& guest' and of course the 'and where might your date be?'

When you are not dating someone, it is hard to find a date to a wedding. Especially one that you are standing up in. Do not get me wrong, it is a wonderful honor to be standing up next to the beautiful, blushing bride as she commits her life to one person for eternity. I love all the mushy, gushy stuff.  Believe it or not, I am a romantic.  However, when you are single and going to a wedding, what are you suppose to do? Who are you suppose to bring?

There is always that awkward "well, there is this really cute guy that I am sort of, kind of in to", but then you do not want to ask him because it is a wedding. I mean, come on, we all know there is an undertone of inviting a guy you are not dating to a wedding, hell, there is an undertone of inviting the guy you are dating. It is almost a catch twenty-two. You want to invite someone because you know you are not going to know anybody else and the few people you do know, already have significant others. Then, you do not want to invite someone because you are standing up in the wedding and he will be forced to sit with people he does not know at the ceremony and then what are you supposed to do with him while you are taking pictures with the wedding party?  Then will he be sat with you at the wedding party table? Or will he then have to sit with more people he does not know and wait for your civic duties to be over? Will he then, whisk you away to dance and dance and dance, or just be really annoyed because he was basically arm candy and a safety blanket the whole night?

I just really hate 'plus ones'. I do not know if it is because I am cynical and single or if it is just because I am standing up in too many weddings. Either way, I am uncomfortable with it. People assume that you are dating someone because that is what everyone else is doing. I appreciate the gesture, I really do and I understand why it is there, but is there not more pressure when you are single to find your '&guest' because it is implied that you should  have one?

I know I have never been one to completely fold to societal standards (I would have settled a long time ago, if I had), but I am really getting sick of all this 'plus one, & guest' stuff. If you do not have your '& guest', then are you not a prime target for a set up? AND you know we are not all lucky, like in Hitch at the end of the movie when the grandma is choking and the dashing, handsome grandson comes to rescue her, all the while sweeping the young dame off her feet. Maybe it is because I am single, maybe that is my problem.

Ha. Haha. I want to say that I am proud to be who I am, &Guest-less and all, but I really do not want to be sitting down at a table by myself when everyone is dancing to a slow song.  Maybe, I just need to be open to meeting someone at the wedding, but is that not kind of sleezy? There is an undertone for that one too...if you know what I mean. I also do not want a pity date either. Just because I am writing this, fellas, does not mean I would like you to up and volunteer to come with me, I would have asked you already if I wanted you to come as my date.

Stupid. Pretentious. & Guest.

stay tuned. I am never in one spot for long.

AC out.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Life comes at you fast...are you ready for it?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have always wanted to be "growed up". I wanted the fancy apartment (yes, you heard me right, apartment...I have always wanted to be a city girl), the big girl clothes and of course, the successful job that let me travel the world. I am now twenty-six years old and figured, I would have that life by now.

I think people use the phrase "in a blink of an eye" too casually. I know that life comes at you fast and as "growed up" as I wanted to be, that phrase just does not come into my vocabulary (unless you want to count right now...but I am not using it in the context it was intended for, so does that cancel it out?).  It has been a long road, but we have to realize that I am ONLY twenty-six years old. I am not suppose to be at that point in my life, where I am ready to settle down or am I?

I guess it just all depends on who you are and what you really want out of life. I look at my life and I realized that I have already done so much. I, then, start to compare myself to others and their accomplishments thus far and how old they were when they reached their "success".  However, that is not what is important because we are all on our own path. We all strive for different things and are put into different circumstances because that is who we are and what we are suppose to be. Some people strive to be wives and mothers, others strive for a career and some are just so content with failing, they sit in a hole of despair and thrive on the negativity that their lives are not going anywhere. A lot of people these days strive for the family life AND the career life.Yet, I am none of those people. I am me.

So, the question that arises next is: What do I  want to strive for? 

It is always a loaded question when it comes to me. In the past, I have always wanted SO much for myself. I was active in sports, dance, art, youth group, a social life and had so many things on my plate at once, I could never decide what my true calling was.  I wanted to do this, I wanted to do that and I believed I could do it all. Then, I moved to North Carolina.

Do not get me wrong, it was the best choice I ever made, but I was forced to start over. I did not have the same support system I had in Grand Rapids. I did not have a college classroom to break the ice for new friends, I did not have GVDT (Grand Valley Dance Troupe) to work out my need to dance, there were not the same bars or the same friends and I lived by myself. I have spent the past two years building up relationships here in North Carolina, but my heart has always been in Grand Rapids. I think that NC was the best place for me to be because it taught me SO much about myself and the fact that I can rely on myself. More importantly, it brought me closer to God and with Him on my side and in my heart, I know I cannot fail.

My move helped me narrow down my goals and what I really wanted to do. I moved here for reasons and goals that have now changed into something completely different. Those new reasons and goals are leading me back home, to Grand Rapids. It is completely God lead and I am having an even harder time trying to put into words all the thoughts in my head.  It is hard to explain something that is God lead because it is a feeling that you understand if you get it. So, excuse my lack of explanation of what is going through my head at this moment because it is something so amazing and wonderful that I just cannot put into words. I love where I am right now and I am no longer going to put goals on when I need to settle down and have all my fancy "growed up" things, because I love to live my life and that is what I am going to do.

Life does come at you fast and you have to learn to enjoy the ride. If you do not, then you are in for a world of mass confusion and you will miss out on SO many stops along the way (ok, I know that sounds a little cliche and I LOVE to be cliche, so deal with it!).

Ya'll need to stay tuned, you know I am never in one spot for long.

AC out.