Monday, October 15, 2012

being passive aggressive is the new pink...

Confrontation is a scary thing. You have to put yourself out there, stand up for what you believe in and even say things you know the other person does not want to hear. You make yourself vulnerable. Heaven forbid you say something that you cannot backup or you show a side of yourself that you did not even know existed.

Often times, I believe people mistake the need for anger and fighting when it comes to confrontation. There are other ways of confronting someone. There is a negative connotation that comes along with it all, there is no way around it. Yet, a confrontation does not always have to be a negative thing. Some people can have concise, adult conversations and discuss it in a mature manner. Some people cannot. The real question is, how do YOU handle it?

For me, I know that I am not good with quick confrontation. I need time to process my thoughts and feelings. I need time to figure out what to say and how to best express myself. I am not good on the spot; other people are. I like to take a step back, look at all the possible angles and figure out what I am really feeling.  I weigh all my options and make calculated risks. Then, I like to calmly talk to the person I may have a problem with and figure out the best possible solution. I do not like to leave things unresolved. That is not how I am.

Others, enjoy and relish in the absurdity of making someone else feel small. The anger gives them a rush and in a moment of not thinking clearly, they say things they do not mean or will later regret. This is who I was when I was a teenager. I thought life was a dramatic TV show and I would slam the door or walk out yelling the meanest thing I could think of at the time. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of this stage in life. Luckily, I did (for the most part, I mean, every once in a while it just feels SO good to slam a door, am I right?!).

Then, there are the people who do not confront a situation at all. There is no communication. They just cut you off and think if they ignore the problem, it will go away. I understand that it can be a terrifying thing, to confront your feelings, but in order to grow up and learn how to deal with life, we have to do it, right? I would rather someone tell me the truth and hurt my feelings now, than never say anything to me at all. Maybe it is too much to ask? Maybe it is selfish of me to want this? Maybe it is not?

How do you guys feel? Would you rather confront a situation, leave it be or have an all out fight? In the heat of it all, maybe fighting does accomplish something? I would rather do that, then say nothing and be a coward.

In a way, this is my passive aggressive way of confronting an issue at the moment. Sometimes, you do not have a choice in whether or not you get to talk something out; you have to just let it go and carry on with your life, no matter what you may be feeling.

It is just really unsettling to not resolve an issue. In this instance, at least I know I have done all I can.

You know I never stay in one place for long...

AC out.

1 comment:

  1. It helps when the two people in argument can calmly settle things out. It's totally ok to be mad but ignoring the situation is worse and having an all out scream-fest can be damaging to the relationship.